FYI

Are you sure? He asked. By this time, I was already dying of indigestion of this same question. I gave him a cold stare and said. I was not seeking your opinion, it is an FYI.  

He looked away, tilted a bit making it easy for his hands to reach into his pocket and fish out the cigarette and lit one, blowing the smoke into the air. When he looked back at me his face looked different. He calmly asked; Tea? I carelessly nodded. He jumped off the wall and walked away to the tea stall across the road, lazily blowing smoke.  

We have known each other for 22 years and now we were just used to each other. We met in the play school. He was 8 months older to me and has been my best friend ever since. From our fights for the ball to helping me with mathematics problems to being a silent support through my awkward puberty, he was always there. If he wanted to go clubbing I was always available to beat the “couples only” entry policy and if I wanted to go for a movie I had the perfect chaperone. But the fact is I needed him more than he needed me. 

I was used to him. Many a times I wondered if I was romantically inclined to him. The intense proximity between us brought the inherent insecurity essential in a romance to null. We were friends and neither he nor I ever wasted time bothering about legitimizing it socially. 

Did we fight? Oh yes we did! But with each fight we strengthened our bond. We did not agree on many things but he used to say; why the hell do we have to be in agreement with each other. He was one person, I did not have to perform to prove my existence and on a rare occasion he did put up a performance, and usually got a sharp rebuke from me. 

Saw him walking back with the tea cups across the road, his face did look different. A bit tired I think. May be he was working hard in his office. We sipped the tea silently and then he said; You remember when I asked you about a friend 2 years ago. I looked at him and said you mean your girl friend? He nodded. I shook my head; yeah what about it. He looked beyond the road and said; we had already gone out a couple of times by then, but I wanted your opinion. I shook my head and said; she is a sweet girl. I would have told you otherwise. He nodded, I know you would have.  

I looked at him confused when the auto stopped and out popped his girl friend. He jumped off the wall and relieved her off her laptop bag. She was a chatterbox and even before both her feet were off the auto her mouth had shot off, giving him the entire days, details. He was keenly listening. Some where in between she waved to me acknowledging my presence. They had to go for a movie and then a dinner, before he would drop her back to her single room or may be he would stay back the night with her. How I wished mine also did the same, and I had come to realize he was not all this, may be that’s why I loved him.  

After dinner with papa and mama, I helped mama in the kitchen cleaning up and waited for the call from my guy. The call came in and we started chatting. I told him about the day, I asked him about his day and I told him about how I blasted my buddy for prying into my life. I expected him to support me in this, he did not. He was silent. I went on to a different topic and another till it was time for me to say good night to him.  

Lying on my bed, I thought about the day and the little sliver kept on irritating me; the incomplete story of how he had asked for my opinion about a choice he had already made. Almost in a flash the realization of my stupidity struck me. I wanted to rush down to call him, but realized he may be with his girl friend so I stopped my self.  

The evening traffic on that road was thin and I had been waiting for the past 30 minutes opposite the tea stall. He walked in almost 15 minutes late and waved to me and walked across to the tea stall and got two teas and jumped on the wall besides me. I looked at him; he looked at me and smiled. His face was back. I was a bit uncertain but I had to do it quickly before his girl friend turned up.  

I am sorry; I did not mean to be rude yesterday. He did not look at me but looked beyond the road and when he spoke his voice was clear but sad. FYI is a good place for me now, but it is a new place so it may take time for me to adjust myself in that. I have been used to you leaning on me for 2 decades now, I could not let go. I still have to learn to let go, but I will learn it FYI; he smiled a smile struggling to reach his eyes.

 

He looked deep into my eyes and said; you know it, if you ever have to look back, you will find me standing. Before I could explain again the auto stopped in front of us.